If you give a kid a cookie...

...he's going to ask for a second cookie.
And if you give him a second cookie...
he's going to want a third cookie.
And if you tell him to be quiet and just eat the ones he has...
he's going to start screaming.
And if he starts screaming about cookies...
the other kids are going to hear the word "cookies" and want some of their own.

And if you give them all cookies...
they're going to want milk to go with them.
And if you give them all milk...
they're going to dump it on the floor
And then they're going to cry.
So when you give them more milk...
they're going to argue about which cup they want it in
And then they'll argue about who has the most milk.
You'll try to give them all the same amount...

But it won't fool them.

They'll still think everyone else has more...
and then they'll scream even louder.
So you'll turn on the TV to distract them...
and put on the new movie they got for Christmas.
But only one of them will want to watch that movie...
...and another will want Tinkerbell...
...and the other will want Finding Nemo.
So you'll kindly suggest they go outside and play.
You'll start to put on their coats.
Then they'll start to scream because they want their blue coats instead.
So you'll look for their blue coats...
...and remember they're still in the wash.
You'll try to break the news to them gently...
...but it won't matter.

They'll throw tantrums on the floor...
until you walk upstairs to get away from the noise.
They'll follow you up the stairs...
because they don't want you to miss a moment of the tantrum.
You'll lock yourself in your room...
...but they'll pound on the door and kick the wall.
So you'll open the door of your room
And they'll run inside.
One will knock your lamp on the floor
...another will put mascara on her toes
...and the other will pull your phone charger out of the wall and throw it in the toilet.

So you'll gently remove them all from your room.
Then they'll take off their diapers and thrown them down the stairs...
so you'll run downstairs to get new diapers.
When you come back up, you'll notice three wet spots and a poo on the carpet...
so you'll head back downstairs for some carpet cleaner and a towel.
Once you've changed their diapers, you'll suggest reading a book...
but you can't find one that isn't ripped up.
But now that you've suggested stories...
they're not going to forget it.

So you'll tell them they get to make their own book.
You'll go look for crayons...
...and decide to hide in the bathroom for awhile.
They'll notice you are gone...
and start running around the house screaming for you to come back.
When they find you, you'll decide you've had enough and go to the medicine cabinet for some headache medicine.
The medicine cabinet is right by the cookie jar...
...which will remind them...
...that they want a cookie.

The End.

Is This Thing On?

Up to now, I was the proud holdout among my family and friends. No blog, no Facebook, no MySpace, nada. I kind of liked being a grouchy old coot with no accountability. But over the past few months I've been feeling rather guilty about my cootiness. And a little bit left out. (Thanks, Mom.) Plus, I really like the idea of having a record of our family since I'm not a scrapbooker or anything. And I have a bad memory.

So I decided I would start one in January and call it a New Year's Resolution. But I'm sitting with my laptop in front of the fire (sorry honey, I know it's expensive but I'm freezing! It's like 73 degrees in here!) in the middle of the day with nothing to do. Well, I have plenty to do, of course, but I don't want to do it. I don't want to do the laundry or vacuum the RiceKrispies off the floor or put away the Christmas stuff. There's no good news or gossip online--how much Tiger can we take?!--and I'm even sick of looking for the perfect drapes for our sliding glass door, which is my go-to activity on the computer when I'm bored. I mean, really, we've been in this house for 2 years and I haven't found them yet. It probably isn't going to happen today.

So I thought, what the heck, I'll start that blog right now! (Then I don't have to feel guilty about that laundry AND I can say I actually did one of my resolutions! What a brilliant idea!) I actually had another one for a while but then they wanted $40 to continue, and that's not cool, so I quit. Here's the site if you're interested. http://www.totsites.com/tot/3peasandacarrot It may be your best bet to ever see pictures from me.

The "three peas" of the title, of course, refers to our three little peas, Kate, Kai and Chase. My triplets. My life. My reason for being halfway to crazy. They are turning 3 on January 5th, which is freaking me out. Not because they've grown up so fast or anything, but because I can't believe kindergarten is still 2 1/2 years away. I don't know it I'm going to make it. They are going through the quintessential "terrible twos" right now and I don't see it improving in the next week. I neverneverneverneverever in a bazillion years thought I would have triplets (unlike all the other triplet moms, who surely planned on it all along) and may I just say, it is a real experience. And a blessing. I mean that. I know that sounds trite. And I know I complain a lot but it kind of makes me feel better. And just as a heads-up to everybody, Triplet Angst/Adoration will be the topic of many a post in the future. Don't say I didn't warn ya.

The "carrot", then, would be my Austin. I thought it was a cute lil' description of him for my first blog back when he was like, 6, but now he actually does kind of look like a carrot. Orange and leafy. (Just kidding.) He's getting really tall-for him-and skinny and his pants hit around his ankles because he's growing out of them faster than I can buy them. He's seriously a smart kid and I always worry that I won't be able to provide enough opportunity for him or help him grow and develop to his full potential. This will be another topic(s) for another time. Right now I'm just proud of myself for actually writing anything at all.

So a late Merry Christmas to everyone--this counts as my Christmas card!-and I hope you all have a great 2010.